Zayna is one my best friends. We met when we were in the ninth grade, and as we grew up and started our high school experience, we grew closer and closer together. I decided I wanted to interview her for my autoethnography, not only because she is one of my closest friends, but because I feel like, even though we were at two very different geographical locations for college this year, we grew closer together and really supported each other through our first year of college. Zayna is currently finishing up her freshman year at University of Massachusetts Lowell, and spent the year commuting from her home in Massachusetts. I thought she would bring a unique perspective to my autoethnography, but also speak to all the similarities that freshmen go through during their first year of college. Her interview is below:
THE INTERVIEW Kate: What were your thoughts about starting college the summer before your first semester? Zayna: I didn’t even know if UMASS Lowell was where I wanted to go. I was really nervous going in undeclared, because I felt like everyone else knew what they wanted to do, and I felt like people might assume I had no plan for life. Honestly, up until the night before my first day of classes, I was telling my mom "this is not gonna be like high school and it’s going to be scary" and I wasn’t ready for a change yet. I was afraid of what starting over was going to be like in college. I thought it might be the same as when I started over when I was 12 or 13 years old and starting middle school with new people. I though I might be shy and go back to my old ways. This was a little different from what I was thinking when going in to college, but it made me think about the fact that we all worry about something when starting at a new place. We were both worried the transition of starting over would be scary, but thought about it in different ways. Since we both went to the same high school, I followed with this question... Kate: How did high school prepare you for college? Zayna: I think obviously specifically coming from our high school, I learned that talking to my teachers was a great and easy way to get help. It made me confident to speak up in class and ask questions. In terms of academics, I felt prepared to write and give oral presentations. Coming from a small school it pushed me to talk to people to find that small community of a support system in the big college environment. I struggled to get that as fast as I wanted to. I smiled, thinking the exact same thing. I really realized how important having a support system was, and how vital it is to create one as you grow in new environments. It makes you a much happier person to know there are people you can talk to, and people who have your back. This led me to my next question... Kate: What were the biggest differences between high school and college? Zayna: I feel like this is generic but I want to say autonomy and independence. I am thinking academically right now. Teachers DO care in college, but you have to put in your own effort and take control of your own academics and make meetings with your advisors, and make sure you are understanding the material. It is up to you. The direction you go in is all based in how you approach it. This is something, college tours tended to mention as well, and it could not be closer to the truth. In college, you have to reach out when you need help and you need to be your own advocate. Your professors, friends, and family can't do it for you anymore and you need to learn to take on that responsibility and independence. I thought more about new differences between college and high school, and though Zayna was commuting, I knew she had had multiple encounters with dorm life, so I went on to my next question... Kate: Did you have any experience with dorms? Zayna: Even though I was commuting, and it was harder to meet people, I went out of my way to make friends. I ended up becoming good friends with a group of girls. Two of my friends Kaitlin and Jill, had an extra bed in their room and they let me have that as my little space, and let me stay over whenever I want. It gave me the opportunity to extend my extra curricular activities in college. You get to know people better in that setting. I agreed whole heartedly and had nothing more to add.. I went on to a more general question... Kate: What was the transition like? Zayna: I think it was hard at first because I did not want to leave my friends, teachers, and a school that I loved and was so comfortable in. I had this mentality that I was gonna backtrack to being my old shy self . As I slowly got into school, I learned that it isn’t starting over from the last time you were at a new school, it is Zayna at 18, not Zayna from 9th grade starting college. The transition became better as time went on and I met more people. We didn’t have tests in high school like we do in college and that was hard to transition to, but I did it. I think it is good to break out of your comfort zone because you learn to get over the anxiety and butterflies eventually and you feel better about the experience and proud of what you have accomplished. There are so many things going on the beginning of college that are fun and stressful and anxiety provoking, and all of the above but that allows for some wonderful things to happen. It gets clearer with time. She is completely right. As cheesy as it may have sounded, people kept telling us things would get easier with time, but it was true. One thing I know we both did was get involved with campus life, so I asked her my next question... Kate: What did you do to make being on campus easier? Zayna: First off just getting to know the campus is really important, finding out where the food is, where you like to study and finding those comfortable places to sit and think, finding the bathrooms, and places where I just feel happy. I think at the beginning, when you feel the most nervous, you really need to do your work yes, but you also have to push yourself to meet new people. I made myself do really little things, like compliment a girls jacket and then start up a conversation and introduce yourself. Little things like that are silly but sometimes they led me to great friendships. Sometimes there are bigger things too, like I really wanted to play soccer and I talked to you Kate, and you told me to give it a chance because you knew I would love it, and then I went for it and branched outside of just doing my academics and meet new friends by playing soccer. Even if I hated it, I got to put out the effort and meet new people and I think that is so important. It is so easy to build up all of these ideas of what you think people will be like, or how bad a adventure could be but if you don’t take this chance you could miss out on some really valuable experiences and relationships. I nodded my head like one of those bobble head figures the entire time she spoke. So many little conversations amounted to friendships during freshman year, and joining clubs really made it much easier to find people we connected with. Moving on, I asked another important, but general question... Kate: What was it like to start college without having classes and seeing your high school friends and teachers on a daily or weekly basis? Zayna: I mean in terms of teachers, there were teachers that I loved and still connected to, but sometimes I would be in class and be like oh if so and so was teaching this class I would be so happy right now. I learned to appreciate all different kinds of teaching styles but I still miss some of my favorite high school professors. In terms of friends, obviously I miss my best friends, but there is another side, because being far away from people you realize who you call every week, and who you miss, you see who your true friends are, and your relationships grow. Ones that are meant to die down do, and ones that are meant to only grow stronger have. I interjected, getting very sappy about how much her friendship has meant to me, but controlled myself by asking her what else she wanted to talk about. Which led me to my final question... Kate: What was the whole idea of picking a major like or being undeclared if you are? Zayna: As I have told you before, being undeclared really freaked me out. I was like oh my god people are giving me comments like "Oh you don’t know what you are doing?" , but then I started taking classes and realized that was ok and that I could still be undeclared and think about what I would be interested in doing. I was really nervous about it at first but as the year went on I was really proud to be undeclared and I know that is a funny word but it allowed me to think about what I really wanted and fulfill general education requirements as well as take classes I was really interested in across the board. So then I realized I could figure out what I like. I took sociology, and political science, and so many other classes in various departments. Everyone situation is very individual but once you get to college its all personalized, you are going to create your own path and have your own college experience. Also I don’t even know how this connects, but I was in the library the other day talking to one of our high school alums and she said something to me that really resonated. She said “ honestly in college, as much as there is stress, it will go away eventually. You are going to plan or procrastinate, but don’t be to hard on yourself with whatever path you choose to take because it all gonna work out in the end” and obviously I mean you should work hard, and I do but I am a strong believer that everything works out for a reason and I just have to tell myself it will all work out because I know it can. Zayna: OK YOU KNOW WHAT KATE I'LL WRAP THIS UP FOR YOU RIGHT HERE AND NOW…..READY??? OK… I am honestly so happy where I am right now in my life, even if at the beginning of the year I was scared and didn’t want to leave my high school comfort bubble. All the stressful, hard, exciting, good experiences I have had this year have made me realize that I am goanna be ok. I want to be here for the next three years, and I am so proud of all of the growth I have seen myself go through and thinking about you and Avanti… we all started off with the same high school experience, we all went to different colleges, had different experiences, and have grown closer together. It was important that we all branched off in our own directions, underwent the freshman transitions, but were able to share our experiences with each other throughout the year and can reflect on the past year while looking forward to new experiences we will have together as well as on our own. I could not really wrap up this interview up much better myself, so cheers to that! Honestly though, I feel like though our individual experiences were very different, our transition from high school to college life was very similar. We both had to meet new people, and create support systems, learn to succeed academically in a college environment, and come to the realization that with time, college will only get better and our friendship will only grow stronger. |